Top Twelve Things You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support

12 "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"

11 "...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."

10 "So-what are you wearing?"

9 "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"

8 "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."

7 "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

6 "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."

5 "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

4 "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."

3 "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"

2 "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."

1 "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."